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In my last post, I shared my husband Joe's passing and what a Blessing it was that we got the time to say Good Bye....
Click HERE if you missed that post!!
If you missed the Obituary I wrote for Joe.....
Please click HERE....
First, I want to Thank
Kristie, over at Love My Little Cottage, for choosing my post, Anne
Marie's Spring/Easter Vintage Home Tour, as one of her features from
last week's Home Matters Link Party!!!
Thanks so much, Kristie!!
Both Anne Marie and I were thrilled that you featured her Home Tour!!!
And I also want to Thank Julie, over at My Wee Abode, who chose my post, One Day at a Time, as one of her features from last week's Tuesday Turn About Link
Party in Memory of Joe!!!!
Thanks so much, Julie!!
Julie is also dealing with the loss of a loved one, her Mom, and is moving to a new home and starting a new life too!!
Please stop by and link up to these lovely parties!!!!
I want to THANK ALL OF YOU who emailed me, messaged me on FB, send cards of condolences and lifted me up in your prayers and supported me with your positive vibes and well wishes!!!!
It has meant so much to me and to my family......
THANK YOU AND LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!
I am now part of a group that I never ever wanted to join......
It is so strange to think of myself as a "Widow".......
My own Mother became a Widow at 67 years old and I remember thinking of her as "so old"....
Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would become a "Widow" at 66 years old.....
A year younger than my Mom.....
Joe was always the healthy one.....seldom ever caught a "cold" , never got nauseated and vomited or had a GI bug, no heart disease, high blood pressure or arthritis....
But he did have high cholesterol and was on medication, had severe osteoporosis from smoking and sustained a few compression fractures in his back and recently was diagnosed as an Adult Onset Diabetic....
And he also had severe GERD which I felt was from eating a pizza with hot red pepper and pepperoni every single night before going to bed for over 50+ years!!!
He stopped doing that when he retired....
He also stopped smoking when he retired..
When he was diagnosed on April 1st with pancreatic cancer that had spread to the liver and lymph nodes, he did say that he had been very lucky his whole life that he was never sick.....
And he was lucky......
Until April 1st....
Funny thing is that my Mother was buried on April 1st 20 years prior.....
I know everyone, including us, are shocked that this all happened so fast....
And since Joe was such a big part of my Blog posts, I feel I owe you an explanation of what happened in only 5 WEEKS....
It is also therapy for me to "talk" about it....
And I am also writing this post for our Twin Grand Daughters, Lily and Gia, who will soon be 4 months old, so that, one day, they will know exactly what happened to their G Pop, who loved them so much....
I have always said this Blog is a personal journal of my life.....
Joe never had the abdominal pain associated with pancreatic cancer, which is usually the first sign that something is wrong....
It was a Blessing but also a double edged sword because at first, no one expected pancreatic cancer....
Around the 8th of March, Joe was having some mild GI distress.....belching and slightly nauseated....
I thought it was a possible reaction to a new Diabetic medication or maybe a GI bug....
On March 9, we attended a Hockey game where he walked his usual 7 laps around the arena concourse even though he was "under the weather"...
He had lost over 15 pounds but he was on Jardiance and going to a Dietician who told him that was a good thing even though he was now only 165 pounds...
Then I noticed the distention of his abdomen, ascites, and immediately knew he had something going on in his liver.....
He had blood work done and only one of the liver enzymes they check was a bit elevated....
We went to our PCP and also to a Gastroenterologist we know, who opened up his office on his day off to see Joe and 2 other patients which he felt needed to be seen immediately....
He scheduled Joe for an out patient paracentesis ( to be tapped) to drain the fluid out of his abdomen...
And then would be scanned...
They were thinking fatty liver disease associated with Diabetes since his blood glucose and Hemoglobin A1C were elevated
Plus Joe was a former Alcoholic who stopped drinking 34 years ago....
While at home , waiting for him to be tapped, he became weaker and weaker...
He fell in the tub and fell in the Dining Room....
I managed to get him up off the floor by myself.....
He was now walking to the bathroom with my physical assistance and down and up the stairs with a cane...
His abdomen was getting larger but he still refused to go to the hospital....
We celebrated Danielle's Birthday on March 23rd with our usual pizza party and the Twins and pups were here...
Joe was determined to celebrate Easter at home even though he was failing fast and I was begging him to go to the hospital....
The day after Easter , April 1st, was when I took him to the Emergency Department the first time....
He still had NO PAIN....
He was diagnosed in 5 hours with a CAT Scan that showed pancreatic cancer that had spread to the liver and lymph nodes....
As I watched him deteriorate so quickly, this is what I thought and knew in my heart it was, confirming my worst fears...
Since it already spread to the liver, it was automatically staged as Stage 4...
We were never looking at any type of treatment other than Palliative because of the spread to the lymph nodes...
He was hospitalized where he was tapped for a whopping 7.5 liters of fluid!!!!
They built him up with IV fluids and medications since his blood work was now off the charts.....
This enabled me to take him home before we had an appointment with the oncologist to discuss prognosis and end of life care on April 16th...
He was all smiles that he was going to be able to go home....
This picture kills me.....
SIGH....
During those several days that we got to spend at home together, our sons visited as did the pups...
Since Joe always managed our finances, he took care of some matters and gave me instructions on what I would need to do in the future....
He was no longer eating and hardly drinking and it was becoming increasingly difficult to manage him at home so on April 12th, I called the ambulance to take him back to the ED as his abdomen was again distended...
Joey, my son, took the day off and was at my side...
Joe was tapped for an additional 4 liters of fluid and scanned again....
The cancer had progressed rapidly between the 2 hospitalizations...
He was admitted to the brand new Cancer Center Oncology floor on Friday, April 12th...
He was thrilled he had a private room this admission....
Even the bathrooms were amazing!!!!!
The lounge area....
Again, they built him up with medications and fluids over the weekend...
Joe requested to see our priest....
Father Alex was so gracious and ran up to the hospital to give Joe Last Rites, anoint him and give him communion between Masses on Sunday, April 14th....
We will be forever grateful to him for doing so....
Monday, April 15, we met with the Palliative Doctor and Joe decided to sign a DNR and be transferred to Allied Services Hospice Center....
He was transferred by ambulance at 5 pm in the evening that day....
Joey was again by my side that day...
We followed the ambulance there and got Joe settled in a beautiful private room...
He was talking and joked that the ambulance ride was bumpy because of the pot holes and was watching TV when we left to go home that evening....
When I called in the morning about 8 am to see what type of night he had, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that a friend and former co worker of mine had been his nurse for the night....
She told me that he was only responding by nodding his head yes and no...
By the time I got there with my son Jim around 10 am, Joe was unresponsive.....
Jim said his Good Byes to Joe then ....
I took Jim home and Joey and I went back to say our Good Byes....
Joe never regained consciousness and passed away peacefully, comfortably and pain free around 9:30 pm on April 16th....
The same day that our initial appointment with the oncologist was scheduled for.....
He was only in Hospice for 30 hours....
I gave him permission to leave us and join our family members in Heaven, like I did with my Mother when she was in Hospice......
Hospice advocates that families do this so their loved one is free to pass on....
He passed away shortly after that....
Joe passed away only 16 days after he was first diagnosed....
Only 5 WEEKS from when he started to feel sick....
5 WEEKS.....
It is a Blessing that Joe really did not suffer.....
And for that, we are all eternally Thankful.....
BUT.....
I thought we had more time......
And now, I have to make a New Life for myself.....
If you follow me on FB, you know that I am starting each day being grateful for my family friends and neighbors who have been such a source of support and comfort.......
And I am trying to find Joy in each day......
I am taking it One Day at a Time as we did during these past weeks....
Joe wanted to me to go on and live my life for both of us....
I hope to do him proud.....
I am doing okay....
Those who have followed me on my blogs know I have to keep busy and I can't sit still......
So I will be returning to Blogging with a series of posts on Becoming a Widow.....
I will be sharing everything I learned along with things I already knew having dealt with the death of both my parents....
And I know you are all wondering.....
YES!!!
I have every intention of still decorating for all the Holidays as Joe would have never wanted me to give up my passions....
He used to tell everyone about all my "Trees" and how I decorated the house ....
Heck, it was him that actually bought most of the decorations for me!!!
And I will be staying here in the townhouse that we have owned and lived in for over 45 years....
For now......
I am not sure about a posting schedule yet...
But I hope you will stop by to visit again.......
Stay safe, healthy and most of all, HAPPY!!
Thanks to those who took the time out of their busy day to spend a little bit of time with me!!
If you do not have a blog, PLEASE give me some way to reply to your comment, maybe by including your email in your comment. If I can not find a way to reach you, I will reply on the post where you commented so please check back......
Thanks to those who took the time out of their busy day to spend a little bit of time with me!!
If you do not have a blog, PLEASE give me some way to reply to your comment, maybe by including your email in your comment. If I can not find a way to reach you, I will reply on the post where you commented so please check back......
I am linking up to these parties:
TUESDAY
Inspire Me Tuesdays
Lou Lou Girl's Linky Party
Tuesdays with a Twist
Tuesday Turn About Link Party
Inspire Me Tuesdays
Lou Lou Girl's Linky Party
Tuesdays with a Twist
Tuesday Turn About Link Party
THURSDAY
Please take some time to visit these terrific hosts and all those joining in on the fun!
My prayers are with you. May God's peace surround you and give you hope each day. Your Joe left a legacy of love.
ReplyDeleteTerri
Terri,
DeleteThanks so much for stopping by and for your kind words in regards to Joe's passing...I gratefully appreciate it..
Hugs,
Deb
Debbie-Dabble Blog
Well done .
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by...I greatly appreciated it...
DeleteHugs,
Deb
This is a beautiful tribute. You are an inspiration. I know this will stay hard but you will have good days and bad days. I'll pray for MANY more good days!!MANY .ore good
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for taking the time to stop by and for your kind and encouraging words...It is truly appreciated...
DeleteHugs,
Deb
Five weeks. It's unbelievable. Five weeks, life can change in an instant. I am so glad to hear that Joe was not in pain. That he was comfortable and knew he was loved. That you had time to say good bye, that you had time together as a family. But none of that makes it any easier or helps you to miss him less. I'm glad you are staying with blogging - your internet friends are here for you! Joe was the best shopper and bargain hunter - and he loved living in the beauty of your home! Hugs, sweet Debbie. One day at a time.
ReplyDeleteDebbie, I am so sorry to hear of Joe's passing....sending love and prayers.......
ReplyDeleteI am literally crying as I read this bittersweet summary of the last weeks of Joe's life. I am floored that it all happened so quickly and that he remained pain free for so long. I am glad you and your boys had time to say goodbye and that you have family and friends to lean on. Joe will surely be missed by many. My thoughts and prayers continue to go out to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteOne day at a time, Debbie. Writing this is very special. A reminder that things can happen in a heartbeat. Promise me that you will print this out for your children and grand girls. Internet is ephemeral and they are very young, but if it is printed and in a safe place, they will have it when they are old enough to really process. Joe sounds like a most wonderful guy and despite the recent sadness, you were indeed a lucky woman to have had this man and this relationship in your life.
ReplyDeleteTake the time you need, Debbie. Grief bursts in when it's least expected. Honor it--I know you will.
My heart goes out to you on the loss of your precious Joe. I pray happy memories will help you through this difficult time. Jean from Bucks County, PA
ReplyDeleteJean,
DeleteThanks so much for stopping by and for your kind words in regards to Joe's passing...I gratefully appreciate it..
Hugs,
Deb
Debbie-Dabble Blog
I can't imagine what you are going through right now, Debbie. Do what is best for you - keep busy and spend time with your family. Sending you love, hugs, prayers - whatever you need!
ReplyDeleteDeb, you are a special lady, one day at a time is the best way to go. I know you have the support of your family, your faith, and your friends to help you through this trying time. Take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteLinda,
DeleteThanks so much for stopping by and for your kind words I gratefully appreciate it..
Hugs,
Deb
Debbie-Dabble Blog
🙏🙏🙏
ReplyDeleteThank you!! Your prayers are greatly appreciated!!
DeleteHugs,
Deb
Hi Debbie. Been thinking about you since reading the news on Julie’s blog. what a way to honor Joe by your strength, faith and family. Laura in CO
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for stopping by and for your kind words in regards to Joe's passing...I gratefully appreciate it..
DeleteHugs,
Deb
Debbie-Dabble Blog
Talking and getting it off your chest is healing, and I am glad that you are writing about it. It just goes to show we just never know. My goodness, only 5 weeks. Unreal. I am so sorry for your pain. I know about death and grief but not yet have experienced the death of a beloved spouse. I hope I go first. You have a good support system with your sons and daughter-in-law, and oh, those twin baby girls are so precious and beautiful. I am so happy Joe got to meet his granddaughters! May you feel the presence of God during this time of grief and healing. God Bless you, Debbie!
ReplyDeleteDebbie, my heart hurts for you. It is difficult to be.believe that within 5 weeks time, Your Joe has passed away. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you writing and sharing about Joe is healing. Losing a loved one can be so painful. I hope you take the time to grieve. May Joe’s memories soothe your heart. I am so glad you have a wonderful supported family.
ReplyDeleteSending love and prayers.
I'm so sorry about Joe, I can't even imagine what you are going through. At least he was comfortable in the end and is now resting in peace. Stay strong. He lives on in the rest of your family and will always live in your memories.
ReplyDeleteDebbie, I am sooo sorry to hear about Joe's passing. I'm thankful he wasn't in pain at the end. You've been so incredibly brave through all of this. I'm so glad you have a loving, supportive family around you. ♥♥♥ Susan
ReplyDeleteDeath in the family is hard. I can only imagine its worse when it is a beloved spouse. You are giving yourself time to grieve and places to pause and breathe in life and all of those are so essential.
ReplyDeleteIt takes a toll emotionally and physically and you need time to heal. Allow it. You are doing a wonderful thing in finding ways to seek gratitude and taking time each day to find something that brings some light be it nature, etc. helps to remind one that despite pain life does continue and can be healthy despite loss.
Peace and God Bless.
I am so sorry to learn of Joe’s passing. What an incredible 5 weeks you have gone through. Losing him so quickly doesn’t give you much time to prepare. But, it sounds like his death was peaceful. That is something to be thankful for. You will be with him again, if that I am certain. You will be in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteDarlene,
DeleteThank you for taking the time to stop by! I gratefully appreciate your kind and encouraging words...
Hugs,
Deb
I am so sorry for your loss, Debbie. This is a beautiful tribute. You're in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteHello Debbie. This is such a hard part of life when we lose the love of our life. My heart goes out to you and my prayers continue for you and your family. My training as a nurse was oncology. People think that is a hard place to work but actually while sad it is good to see peace and comfort for those that are passing. Family is taken care of too. I am glad you had a good Hospice center for Joe. I know with how quickly things went with Joe it is hard to really wrap your head around what has happened. I hope in the coming days you will be able to find peace and less pain of this loss. The pain never goes away but time has a way of making this loss more tolerable. I wish that for you. May you find joy in your twin grands little cute faces to help with your pain. Family is the most important for you right now. Prayers sweet friend. Kris@JunkChicCottage
ReplyDeleteOh Deb! Thank you for sharing this with all of us. It will be treasured by your family for years to come. You are in my thoughts and prayers friend. Life is so fragile. Those grand babies are simply adorable so hold on to them. I am glad to see you around here which is a good sign. Grieving its an interesting process and we all approach it differently. Stay strong and I look forward to your next post. 🙏🏼💛 XO- MaryJo
ReplyDeleteMy condolences for your recent and profound Loss. The Twins are adorable and I'm glad their Grandpa got to spend time with them and that you too were able to in Retirement, spend that quality time it affords us. Just discovered your Blog via Miss Merry's Blog. This is such a wonderful and supportive Community, especially during the Trials of Life, which can be quite alienating in Real Life situations, so The Land of Blog can so often be an Online Sanctuary to retreat to and enjoy good company.
ReplyDeleteOh Debbie, I can't imagine. I know it is a gift that he didn't have to suffer but my gosh how we look at the fates in weeks like these and there really is nothing that can make us feel better. We just get up and go on because we have no choice. I am so sorry. I am very glad you decided to keep blogging and to talk about it. I think us bloggers found out that secret. How therapeutic it is etc. Thank you for coming by and sharing with us at Grandma's house DIY.
ReplyDeleteI am so sory for your loss but glad you all got to be with him in the end. That's so awful.Big hugs to you.
ReplyDelete