DEBBIE-DABBLE BLOG: My One Little Word for 2015

Well, here it is

The end of another year and the beginning of a brand New Year......

For the past several years ,I have been choosing
One Little Word for each year...

A Word that would guide me through the year...

A Word to focus on......

My 1st Word was HAPPY in 2011, Please click HERE to read

My 2nd WORD in 2012 was TIME, Please click HERE to read

My 3rd WORD in 2013 was JOY, Please click HERE

And

My 4th WORD in 2014 was ME, please click HERE to read

I went back and re-read these posts and thought about each one and was shocked to see how my life has changed over the years.

I was sort of taken aback......

In the first few years, I belonged to a Victorian Group and I went out to Tea's and visited friend's houses and did a lot of projects around the house and was very social.

I was Happy and I did take the Time to do what I wanted and liked to do.

But things changed in 2013 for me.

My group of close friends had disbanded with the death of one and the relocation to a different state of another.

That caused me to slip into something that I honestly can say I had never experienced in my life prior to this time....Depression.

I do not think that I even realized it at the time but in looking back, I realize it now.

Then my health started to fail again with the onset of IBS , Hashimotto's Thyroiditis and finding out that my right knee would need a joint replacement in the future.

I was told to loose weight because of the pending knee replacement and I am proud to say that I did just that!

I lost 55 pounds and for the most part, give or take 5 pounds or so, I have managed to keep it off. However, my knee has continued to deteriorate and I was told that thinking I could put off the knee surgery for 5 years was essentially a "Dream" .

So the realization that I would need to have this surgery sooner rather than later seriously blew my whole plan out of the water.

So now, I am hoping to put it off at least until Jan. of 2017 when Joe will be retired.

I have to say that I am actually glad that this past year, 2014 is OVER!!.

I can't say it was a bad year nor was it a good year. It was more like watching Time slip away from me.....

And I know I am the only one to blame for that.

In November of 2013, I took on the responsibility of running our Church Craft Fair. Of course, I had my own thoughts on how we could make it better and I implemented those thoughts into a plan, not realizing that I was also increasing the amount of work that needed to be done.

I did this all while working full time night shift, trying to put my house back together after a major remodel of almost the entire first floor , trying to be a Craft Vendor myself and decorate the way I usually do for Christmas , which is decorating every room!!

I must have been insane and if I was not before I decided to take this on, I surely became afterward.

At the end of 2013, all that I had taken on had sucked all the HAPPINESS and JOY out of me and robbed me of any free TIME that I thought I had.

I was actually feeling quite miserable at the end of 2013 and when trying to decide on a WORD for 2014,I first chose NO and then thought better of it and picked ME.

I thought that in 2014, I would take the Time for ME!!

I should have chose NO!!!

I know many of you have done posts on all you accomplished during 2014. I could not be bothered because I am so glad that this year is over that I do not want to look back but only look forward.

In 2014, I once again took more on and ran not only a Holiday Craft Fair this past November but a Spring one too and then got talked into running a Summer Flea Market for our church in August at the last minute when the guy who took it over from me several years ago went Missing in Action.

Again, all while working full time, STILL trying to put my house back together after that major remodel and having my knee deteriorate even more.

Adding more coal to the fire that was fueling my Burn Out, I decided to be a Hostess for our church's Harvest Tea which took a lot of time to prepare for...so much so that I took my vacation then.

I said I should have chosen NO for my Word last year.

I really and truly tried to get my act together for Christmas this past year in 2014 but that all fell apart too.

I had to put an end to my little Craft Business because there is no way I can run a Craft Fair and be a vendor at it and work full time. ( What the heck was I thinking?) So I will not be a vendor , selling my own crafts for at least 2 years or more.

I really tried to get my whole house decorated for Christmas after finally unpacking the last box that I had packed away a year ago after that major Remodel but with hours and hours spent on the computer drawing up forms, advertising, printing out correspondence for the Craft Fair, I once again ran out of Time and could not get done everything I wanted to do for Christmas.

Did I mention that I also do all the advertising for another Craft Fair run by a friend of mine that I also had to pull out of being a vendor at?????

Yes, I shared with you on my Christmas Blog what I did get decorated of my house for Christmas this year. But it was not what I had done in the past , when I would have several Open Houses and lots of visitors over during the Holiday season and who would tell me that it had become a Christmas tradition to visit our house for Christmas.

Because I felt ( for the 2nd year in a row) that I could not live up to everyone's expectations of me, I cancelled Christmas this season!!!

Yep!!

I cancelled Christmas!!

No, I did not mention this in any of the posts on my Christmas Blog.

I had absolutely no visitors this year.

You all were the only visitors that I had this year!!

I did decorate but I decorated for ME and that was probably the only thing that I took the time to do this year for ME which was my WORD for the year.

I wanted and needed a break because fortunately, I have realized that if I continue at this speed, the speed of light, I am going to crash and burn!! And I think I have done so already!

I really was just not in the Christmas Spirit this year and that NEVER happens to me as I LOVE Christmas.

We usually go every year to see Trans Siberian Orchestra for Christmas.

We did not go this year because of all days, it was on Black Friday!! I live right in the midst of the busiest shopping district in my County and traffic on Black Friday with 2 back to back shows at the arena which is also smack dab in the middle of that very busy shopping district would have been a nightmare! Plus Joe worked that day and also working the next day.

As a Letter Carrier for the United States Post Office, Joe only gets every 6th Saturday off and that Saturday did not fall in December this year. In fact, he did not have 2 days off in a row the entire month of December which also worked against any plans we could have made to have parties or company or do anything for Christmas.

I will not talk about my work situation because I know Big Brother could be watching but with some staffing issues , I have been coming home dead tired and barely able to walk. Thank Goodness our patient census was lower than usual over the Holidays or I may not have survived it.

Okay, enough carrying on about the comedy of errors and events in my life!

It IS the start of a New Year.......

I gave up making Resolutions a LONG time ago...

BUT

I do like to aspire to do a few things in the beginning of a New Year......plan on what I would like to achieve during the Year......

So here is a few of those and there are only a few and they are in no particular order......

1. Get myself back on track to be healthier by losing an additional 15 pounds , at least. The more weight I lose, the better my knee will feel and the healthier it is for me overall.

2. Get back on my Exercise Bike for at least 15 minutes a day 5 times a week. I had stopped doing it because of back pain from several compression deformities in my back and after completing 12 weeks of Physical Therapy for my back, I hope to be able to do the bike without any discomfort.

3. Purge...... I am a Victorian Soul who believes in the Philosophy that "More is More'. I realize that I have much More than what I need so I want to take a long hard look at all the stuff I have and decide what I truly do not need and can live without. This is what will probably kill me!! I did take 4-5 boxes of Christmas stuff up to our church Flea Market garage and I am really being very picky with what I buy at the after Christmas sales....

4. Organize.... Now I always considered myself a very organized person because I am a bit ( well, a lot) OCD but over the last 18 months, I feel like I can not get a handle on things so that has to change before I loose my mind.

5. Eliminate some bills and get finances in better shape and spend less money

6. This one has to do with the one above....... Go PART TIME by November of 2015!!!

I have come to the conclusion that I need to take better care of myself and that going PART TIME will seriously help with that. My job is very physical because I work in a Rehab department as a nurse and I lift people for a living.
Sometimes 200 and 300 pound people who have disabilities!
I also work full time night shift and sleep very little. As I am aging, it is taking a physical toll on me. Dropping down to working 7 days in a 2 week pay period from 9 which is still considered full time should help that a bit but there are issues with going part time that I will talk about in a later post.

7. I think the most that I aspire to do in 2015 is to Enjoy My Life! I feel that I have not been doing that for some time now and Life is short. You never know when it will be taken away from you so I need to make changes now that will allow me to enjoy my life!

Okay , then........ What is my One Little Word for 2015????

I thought about NO like I did last year.

I thought about THINK..... THINK before I open my mouth to say Yes to something!!

I thought about Breathe, just to catch my breath.....

After much mental debate., I decided that my One Little Word for 2015 is ....

LIVE!!

That's right!!

I am picking the Word LIVE!!!!!

In 2015, I am choosing to LIVE!!!

I need to go back to enjoying Life!!

In order to do this, there will be changes made which I will share with you as the year goes on......

There will be changes in the way I blog too....

I will continue to Blog but differently as I have in the past!